In an effort to educate myself when my daughter came out as bisexual several years ago, I became aware of an organization called PFLAG — Parents and Families of Lesbians and Gays. Prior to PFLAG, there were few resources in the community to support parents and their children to deal with the everyday challenges presented when a child comes out.

The organization began in 1972 when Jeanne Manford expressed her pride by marching with her gay son, Morty, in New York’s Christopher Street Liberation Day March, the precursor to today’s Pride parade. It was a time when homophobia was rampant. According to the PFLAG national website, “After many gay and lesbian people ran up to Jeanne during the parade and begged her to tell their parents, she decided to begin a support group. Through word of mouth and community need similar groups sprang up around the country.”

When my daughter came out, I immediately went online looking for support and educational resources to help me understand my child’s sexuality. I found PFLAG. 

PFLAG Philadelphia meetings are held monthly. The first hour of the meeting is usually educational and programs focus on a range of community issues, from how to access safe health care to getting along with the police. As an example, one of our workshops focused on the Gay Officers Action League. Two out and proud policemen spoke to our parent group. They described how Philadelphia police officers are receiving training to address the stereotypes and facilitate positive relationships with the LGBTQ community. During the second part of the meeting, two support groups meet, one specifically for parents of transgender people and the other for gay, lesbian and bisexual families.

At PFLAG, I heard many coming-out stories and felt reassured by these heartfelt experiences. I was not criticized for what I felt; I was reassured that I would feel differently over time. I was especially encouraged by the 80-year old parents who supported their son when attitudes toward LGBTQ people were primitive. And more importantly, I was able to develop a healthy perspective on my child’s sexuality. 

I am forever grateful for the support I received at PFLAG Philadelphia. I am now on the PFLAG board of directors. We meet every third Sunday, 2-5 p.m., at the Robert Schoenberg Carriage House (LGBTQ Center) on the campus of the University of Pennsylvania. The address is 3907 Spruce St. Email pflagphila@yahoo.com for more information, or visit the PFLAG national site at www.pflag.org.